Books › I’m Afraid of Men

Hardcover book · 96 pages · Published 28 August 2018 by Penguin Canada

A purple book cover with bold orange text reading 'I'm Afraid of Men', and the author's name written across it in black script, 'Vivek Shraya'. — Buy online
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Librairie D&Q (Montreal)
Massy Books (Vancouver)
McNally Robinson (Winnipeg/Saskatoon)
Queen Books (Toronto)
Shelf Life Books (Calgary)

I’m Afraid of Men, the best-selling new book from Vivek Shraya, explores how masculinity was imposed on her as a boy and continues to haunt her as a girl—and how we might reimagine gender for the twenty-first century.

Read an excerpt

“My history has taught me that I can’t fully rely upon other women for sisterhood…”

Listen to the playlist

Vivek’s playlist for the Penguin Shop takeover

Check out the Reading Guide

Discussion questions for book clubs & reading groups

Cover design by CS Richardson with Jennifer Griffiths

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Finalist

Lambda Literary Awards · Transgender Non-fiction

Nominee

Forest of Reading Evergreen Award

Vivek Shraya transforms her long-festering fears of men into cultural rocket fuel.
— Vanity Fair

Emotional and painful but also layered with humour, I’m Afraid of Men will widen your lens on gender and challenge you to do better. This challenge is a necessary one—one we must all take up. It is a gift to dive into Vivek’s heart and mind.
— Rupi Kaur, bestselling author of The Sun and Her Flowers and Milk and Honey

Vivek Shraya’s writing is always empathetic but challenging, kind but sharp, and I’m Afraid of Men forces you to confront what you think you know about masculinity, privilege, and fear. Reading Shraya’s writing will make you a better person, through and through.
— Scaachi Koul, author of One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter

A gift and a hell of a book—beautiful, intimate, insightful and essential.
— Jesse Wente, NOW Magazine

Viscerally powerful… creating tectonic fissures into antiquated beliefs around gender identity.
— The Star

The time is now for Vivek Shraya’s I’m Afraid of Men.
— The Globe and Mail

I’m Afraid of Men is spare, elegant, raw, meticulous, intimate, and direct.
— Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, Bitch Media

In I’m Afraid of Men, Vivek Shraya owns and exposes her own history with masculinity and offers a way out of this harmful and old-fashioned binary we call gender. My head nodded along quietly in agreement any time I wasn’t wiping away rising tides of tears. Vivek Shraya is a superior voice, and this book is essential reading for everyone.
— Tegan Quin (of Tegan and Sara)

She writes with honesty and vulnerability, all the while asking challenging and personal questions that inspire deeper reflection. This crucial addition to shelves offers the vital and often ignored perspective of a trans woman of color. A book to carry with you.
— Kirkus (starred review)

A literary catalyst for self-reflection and change… it just takes one voice, like Shraya’s, to start the conversation.
— Michelle da Silva, NOW Magazine